a letter to kenny for his 3 years in heaven / Amy Martinez (Big sister ) as i sit on this early cloudy morning, i pray for the world to stop.. to stop to remember you on the day you came into this world. and as i sit , i remember how proud i am to be your sister, with all the memories we shared. i may not remember the day you were born, but i do remember you and how you hated it when i pulled your ears. and i remeber how you would fight with all of your might so i wouldnt. and at 26 you still fought with me. i remember us playing with army guys with our cousins. and you riding your bike off the top of grandpas old cars and when he would find out you would get into SO much trouble. we were always so scared of getting into trouble by him. he was our grandpa but he was always so nice. he may have givin us cherry pie when he wasnt supposed to but that didnt stop him from yellin at us... for anything. i remember us finally living together with mom and how we fought and how many times we got grounded for being mean to eachother.atleast once a month. we werent always so nice to eachother. thats something i will always regret. and with us being so mean and rude to eachother i never really knew who you really became.. i remember getting up before you to take a shower before school and using all the hot water. and when you would get up i would be leaving out the door and you were just getting in the shower. and there would be no hot water. and with all of that would be late for school or you just didnt do. and yes kenny i did that on purpose. and then later on in you life i remember mom callin me tell in me it was time. it was time for my lil brother to become a father. you may not have wanted me there.. i could tell by your words. but i sucked it up and stayed with you anyway . i remember your tired excited smile the one you always had. i remember the tears rolling down your face when autumn was born . and how proud you were to finally be a father of your own little girl . the little girl who now looks just like her daddy . your smile and your little mean attitude and of course your ears i try so hard not to pull..like you asked me.. but guess what .. i do anyway . and then 6 months later after you became a proud father i saw you at moms and as we walked down the hall you turned and told me how excited you were to be an uncle again.. as you grabbed my huge belly. and you told me how proud you were of me and you also told me how much you loved me. and kenny .. that was the last day i ever saw you again . february 12 2005. i will carry that day with me everyday for the rest of my life. then the next sunday i called dad like i always did and still do to ask how he was but for some weird reason he hadnt gone to church.. well actually nobody did.. mom was the only one gone. dad had asked me if i had talked to mom.. and i said no and he told me i needed to sit down . then i knew something was wrong. thinking it was one of the kids or even mom. he was holding back his tears and he said.. aimis, kenny is missing, and in that moment my world stopped, my heart stopped dead in my chest. i hung up with him without saying good bye. and fell to my knees. from that moment my world has been spinning so slowing, not going fast enough to outrun the pain of loosing you. now i know it will never go fast enough, it just slowing scoots along. i know moms broken heart and see dads broken dreams each aging so before there time. feeling like they have nothing left of you except memories. but atleast they have the memories so they arent alone. and they have me. but kenny i feel i am not what they want. i know they want you but feel i am not good enough. and now i sit alone on this rainy day watching new flowers and trees bloom and i am alone without you . i am alone without the fights and the advice and the help from you when i needed it. you were always there. i cant express how much i need you in my life but i guess god needed you more. i dont know what you are doing for him but i think i can be a little selfish and say we need you more than he does. i will think of you always lil brother. you are in my heart every waking second of every day . i love you . Love always your older sister amis
love always / Carole Mom To Angel Heather Bates Read >>
love always / Carole Mom To Angel Heather Bates Close
..TOO MANY YEARS,TOOMANY TEARS / GRAMA JERRIE Read >>
..TOO MANY YEARS,TOOMANY TEARS / GRAMA JERRIE
DEAR KENNY..ALWAYS THINKING OF YOU..YOU'RE IN MY PRAYERS..WHEN I THINK OF YOU I LOOK UP..AUTUMN IS SO MUCH LIKE HER DADDY..PLEASE WATCH OVER HER & SHELL..SO MANY TEARS HAVE BEEN SHED, & STILL ARE..YOU'VER BEEN GONE TOO LONG..WHEN YOU SHOULD BE HERE..I LOVE YOU ..REST WITH OUR LORD TIL I SEE YOU AGAIN..GRAMA XO Close
Happy Halloween / Bridget Dtr Of Allan (United by angels )Read >>
Happy Halloween / Bridget Dtr Of Allan (United by angels )
Hope you are enjoying Heaven and all of it's beauty in the Fall
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